she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I wish you could order shots online.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
