will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
