It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
