Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize