I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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