I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He? As in you personified your dick?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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