cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
