I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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