and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
