the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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