Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize