At least make sure they are 18
Why
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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