I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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