But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
