Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
