Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I am mentally ready for anal.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize