A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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