i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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