I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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