i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
