Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
