I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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