can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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