i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
