i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
