I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
