Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
