does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
