I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
