Midget sex pt 2 tonight
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize