tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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