Yo dont text me then not text me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
zippers are such a cool invention
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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