i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
