mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
