just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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