Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
