Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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