I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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