I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
