We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
