The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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