Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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