my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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