Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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