you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
