Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
