I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
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She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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