take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
