We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
