he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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