I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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