am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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