last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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