I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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