I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize