Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
honey bunches of taint.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
