Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
