You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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