I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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