you traded sex for a burrito?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
