She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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