dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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