I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
