Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
