the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
