and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
