I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
