Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
