im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
as a side note pls kill me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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