you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
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And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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