I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize