A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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