You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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