Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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