Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
