Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just threw up on my dentist
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.