I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Everything about him screamed your future.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.