You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.