Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0