He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
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tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?